Steenblik Stories

Family Night Message

2010-11-09T06:35:00.002-07:00

I (Wendy) got a job recently at Spectrum Academy as the lunch lady. Hopefully this will only be for a couple of months until the REAL lunch lady, miss Carol, is recovered from her stay at the hospital.

When I get home from being on my feet in the kitchen at 3:45 p.m., the last thing I feel like doing is being in the kitchen some more and cooking a big dinner. I am resolved that my family needs a home cooked dinner so I do it anyway. Last night I made these things where you put biscuits in a muffin pan and fill them with BBQ meat and top with cheese. They come out this little pie looking thing filled with meat. Jason and I liked it. The boys wouldn't even touch it to try it. The whining and complaining was phenomenal.

So when it came time for family home evening and it was Jason's turn for the lesson, is it any mystery why he chose the story of the ten lepers? He had each of the boys bring out five star wars action figures. (These guys are used frequently in our acting out scripture stories especially the battle scenes.)

He told them the story of the lepers being healed and only one returning to say thank you to Jesus. He explained how mom worked hard on her dinner and that they didn't even say "thank you." The next part I have to quote exactly because it's better that way.

Jason: So what do we learn from this story boys?
Hyrum and Porter: That if you don't say thank you to mom, you'll get leprosy!
Jason: That's right. So tomorrow are you going to thank her for dinner even if you don't like it?
Hyrum and Porter: Yes!

The boys ran off to go play and I was sitting stunned looking for the lightning bolt that would surely come and strike Jason for his liberal interpretation of the scriptures. I bet we don't get complaints about dinner for at least a week.

2010-10-28T18:15:00.002-06:00

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Family Rocks!

2010-10-19T12:13:00.008-06:00

Looks like a bunch of rocks on the outside but inside they are beautiful sparkley!

We spent Saturday in the desert by the Dugway proving grounds hunting for geodes and lizards with my brother, Aaron, his boys and Papa Buddy. It was my one last farewell to summer and the heat. We saw wild horses, antelope herds and lots of cool rocks!

Porter and Jacob at the Pony Express stop at Silver Springs.

If you can't say something nice......

2010-09-09T09:59:00.002-06:00

You've heard that saying from Thumper's mom, "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all." Well, that applies to this summer. We've really struggled with Hyrum being home.

Since school starting especially we've had a hard time with the transition from home to school. My sweet neighbors have had the chance to witness Hyrum tantrums and it doesn't make me feel better that he is only 8 and on the radar of the Bountiful Police. (no record just notes on him in case)

He's attending Spectrum Academy the premier charter school for children with autism spectrum disorders. It has been a life saver! If you talk to Hyrum, he doen't think that he belongs there but a visit to the class would tell any observer differently. He's in good company with the sweetest, cutest kids!

We're hanging in there a day at a time.

"Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it."
-from the T.V. show Annie

Apparently I'm just full of T.V. wisdom today.

Feelin' Great and Sailin into Summer

2010-06-02T22:35:00.002-06:00

Hey the recovery from the surgery was great! I was only down essentially four days. I was just a little tired for the week after. I don't consider myself and amazing healer or really in shape or anything so I consider this a miracle.

I have so many fun pics to share but I'm having trouble with the memory card downloading to my computer.

We had Hyrum's school field day today at the South Davis Rec center and Porter's is tomorrow at Rocket Park. Life is just a party lately and my house looks like it. We had 7 boys over this afternoon and I loved every play dough, dress up, wild minute of it.

Historectomy is finally happening.

2010-05-03T23:07:00.002-06:00

We've known the day would come for 4 years now and on Monday, April 10th it's happening. I'm cautiously optimistic that this will take care of the hemorrhaging. I'm also nervous as heck that my home will fall apart. And no, I don't mean that the dishes won't get done or that beds won't be made, that is a given. I mean that the kids and dad may not survive without mom to intervene in the fighting. They have a terrible time when mom is just sick for a day. I'm going to be out for at least a week. Oh well, better now while the kids are still in school than in the summer when they are home all day. At least I hope they both get to school. Hyrum is still fighting it.

Today he had a dentist appointment because he had a pain in a tooth. Good thing that I saw the x-ray showing the abcess or I would have thought that he was just making up pain to get out of school. On the way back from the appointment, Hyrum informs me that he is not going back to school today. I went through the begging and pleading and ordering and threatening him to go to school when we reached the parking lot but to no avail. So I take a break and go sign him into school in the office. I can see him doing push ups and sit ups on the lawn outside while I'm doing so. The secretary pointed out cheerfully that at least he wasn't wasting time. I sarcastically thanked her for her optimism. Then I went out and attempted to bodily bring him into the school. I'm sure we would have been comedy gold for anyone watching. Finally someone had pity on me and called the principal. He is wonderful and together we were able to get Hyrum to march down to class with very little resistance and only two escape attempts. Someday we'll laugh at this right?

Jason and I replaced the breaks on our car after the kids were asleep at 9:30p.m. It was perfect temperature outside and it was nice to have some just Jason and Wendy time. It doesn't get more romantic than that folks!

Don't Worry "Bee" Happy

2010-04-27T17:34:00.003-06:00

We have received our bees! 15,000 new pets for us to love! Hyrum and Porter are dancing the day we introduced them into the hive. Nana got some too. They are thriving so far and are already making honey and having babies. :)

Hyrum is HOME!!!

2010-04-26T14:41:00.004-06:00

I'm happy to announce that Hyrum has been released from the Utah State Hospital and is home full time now. Boy is he giving his mom and dad a run for their money!

He is challenging any and every limit he can. Tuesday he decided to be done with school. He informs me in a cheerful voice that he is not going to school anymore "it's boring." I pull out the usual parent rhetoric and he just smiles and sits there on his bed. So I take a deep breath and relax, I'm not going to make this fun for him. I take all of his toys and close the door telling him that he is only allowed out to use the bathroom.

I call Jason with my initial idea of taking all the toys from his room and making him grounded to his room. Jason says something like, "heck no that kid is going to school even if I have to drag his lifeless body." He says he is on his way home to help deal with this. Hmmmm..... I can see a confrontation coming. Next I call our guy from the Families First program of the Utah Youth Village.

His name is David. So if you hear me spouting about the wisdom of David that's who I mean. The state and county want to reduce the likelihood of having Hyrum back at the State Hospital. We were lucky or blessed enough to qualify for the Families First Program where a therapist comes to our home and observes and helps us come up with solutions specifically developed for Hyrum. They stay on call for your family anytime 24-7 for a full 18 months. This is usually a $5,000 program but it is covered for us thank heavens!

So, I have never met this David guy but I call the number he gave us in case of emergency. He immediately told me that Jason and I need to be a united front before confronting Hyrum. Also that he has had kids decide to quit school and so he told them that they needed some vocational training. And since the only kind of job you can get if you quit school is manual labor, that's what they do if they are not in school.

I called Jason and since he had time to cool off he decided that forcing Hyrum to school physically wasn't a good idea. So we went for the vocational training. We just happen to have a lot of manual labor to do around our house. We had Hyrum dig a ditch in the back yard.

Jason sat out with him telling him to keep digging and no, he couldn't use the bathroom until his break at 10am. Pretty soon we decided that Hyrum was liking all the adult attention. So Jason came in where we could see him from the window. Then Hyrum decided not to work at all and just lay on the ground. This was about lunch time and so Jason offered to take Hyrum on a ride. Hyrum got in the car and asked where we were going. Jason told him that they were going to the police station since not going to school is against the law and that the police would be happy to tell him what happens to people who don't obey the law. He decided that he would like to go to school after all.

This was not the end of the school fight and I don't think that it will be over for many years but at least he won't catch us unaware again. We've got rewards and punishments in place now. Hoo boy yeah I love having him home but that boy will be the death of us.

-Wendy

Proud of Papa Buddy

2009-11-25T07:16:00.004-07:00

Congratulations to Lynn Arbuckle, Dave Blair, and Marc Walker for receiving another patent. This one is for the Apex Audio router. http://www.grassvalley.com/products/routers/apex/ Even though it takes a half hour for him to explain to me what this does and the schematics cover pages, I am so proud of his accomplishments!

Here is some bits of wisdom that I've learned from dad regarding his work.

When you have a problem that seems unsurmountable sleep on it and give it a little time. Many times the answer will pop into your head after a good night's sleep.
He's a team player. You never see just his name on a patent. He's not in it for the glory. (whatever glory there is in router patents etc.) He's even turned down opportunities for management because that's not what he does best.
Balance. He works hard from 9 to 5 but then comes home and switches gears.

Porter Update

2009-11-02T13:48:00.002-07:00

I'm always doing updates of Hyrum and Porter probably sounds like a scared, pathetic afterthought in our family. Really he's a mostly normal happy little kid who loves animals, is thrilled to learn new things, is not thrilled to do chores and loves to play with friends.

We had a great time at his Halloween party at school. (I'm the head room parent.) He dressed up at Luigi for Halloween and got lots of candy trick or treating.

After family therapy on Friday, we got to go out to Pizza at the new Pizza Pie Cafe in Provo. Our friends Melanie and Cory manage it. It was so fun to see them and their little one Jayden. Porter has even nicknamed him "Jayders." Pizza is one of Porter's favorite foods. It's all you can eat and Porter can pack away a surprising amount for a 5 year old!

We've been trying to encourage reverence during prayers for Porter. We got some gormet jelly beans and if he is reverent through the whole prayer, he gets one. If he says the prayer, he gets two. After church Jason asked him if he got a jelly bean or not. Porter said "yes." Jason said "Were your eyes closed the during the whole prayer?" (knowing they weren't) Porter said that even if we saw his eyes open, his spirit's eyes were closed the whole time. What can you say to that?

Our weekend

2009-11-02T13:35:00.002-07:00

Jason sent this update to Tom, Hyrum's therapist, down at the state hospital in an email. I thought maybe our families and friends might be interested in how the weekend was too.

"Hyrum's yellow behavior on Saturday stemmed from an argument between he and his brother over the Nintendo. Hyrum recently has wanted to play the Nintendo alone and we told him that he needed to share with his brother. He got upset about this and stomped up to his room. It took him nearly 1/2 hour to calm down.

On Sunday, he started acting up just before church. He had been out front playing and when we told him it was time to come in and get ready for church he said that he was too tired to do so. He eventually got into church clothes and went to church, although he was a bit hyper during church, it was not terrible. After church we went to Wendy's parents for dinner (right in the neighborhood) and he was very non-compliant there. After this Wendy took him to my brother's house (also in the neighborhood) to play for about 1/2 an hour with his cousins. When the time came to leave he threw a fit and jumped up on top of the car and made it very hard for Wendy to get him in the car. Wendy then took him back to her Mom's for Grandma to take him back to Provo. When he found out that was where he was going he grabbed Wendy by the neck from the back seat of the car. Wendy had to send Porter in to Grandma's to get some help getting him off of her and into Grandma's car (I was still at the church counting the receipts.) Wendy said at this point it became one of the worst fits she has seen him throw, getting him into Grandma's car to head back to the unit.

So, in summary, Friday and Saturday were not too bad but from about 11:00 Sunday he was very difficult. It could have been Halloween, but whatever it was he was very wound up and difficult."

This is what I added to Jason's email.

"I just wanted to add one thing to the story. We had homemade chili and bread at my mom's house. Hyrum chose not to eat more than 3 bites of chili and no bread. This was his decision in spite of being warned that this was dinner. We briefly stopped at home between grandma's house and aunt Rachel's. At home he wanted me to prepare him more food because he was hungry. It wasn't just him, his brother said the same thing. I told them that dinner was at grandmas and that if they wanted a snack, they could have anything in the kitchen that they could make themselves. Hyrum got some cold cereal and porter made himself a ham sandwich.

Aunt Rachel was just getting ready for a dinner party and Hyrum was trying to get food from her too. I told him that we had already had dinner and that it was time for us to leave. (I had previously given a 5 minute warning) Aunt Rachel said that her kids had the same rule about eating dinner.

He was enraged when he ran up the car and sat on top. He pulled off his wristband and threw it along with his shoes. (speaking with all the body language he could of how angry he was) His brother was too scared to get into the car with an upset Hyrum on top. I told him that this was damaging property (dents in our car) and that this was level 2 behavior. (he responded by trying to tell me that there were no dents - trying to distract me from the real issue - his behavior) He was reluctant to get into the car and after instructing him to do so multiple times, I told him that my patience was at an end and that it was time to go back to Provo. (I'm not sure that he heard me through the tantrum because he was surprised when I pulled up to my parents house for grandma to take him back to Provo.)

Grabbing my neck was more a terror-hug thing. He was crying and saying how scared he was and that he just wanted to talk to me. Regardless, it took my father physically putting him in the car; me threatening that if he wasn't safe on the car ride, he wouldn't be allowed to come back next week-end to get him to go.

We're left with a sense of failure and questions about what we could have done differently. Also, we have a traumatized Porter who wouldn't leave my side the rest of the night, is having nightmares and coming into sleep with mom and dad almost every night.

The neighborhood kids frequently report being scared of Hyrum. I think that it's because he violates their personal space and gets right up in their face and yells. He's loud and unpredictable. He thinks that it's funny and laughs but it's not making him popular with the kids. They are often reluctant to play with Porter if Hyrum is home. "

We meet with a Neuropsycologist on Wednesday about some responses she's had from Hyrum on some very specific therapies. We're hoping that she can nail down some of the diagnosis. I think that she is thinking Autism but we've been down that road before. I wish they had some concrete way to diagnose Autism or a mental illness. I'm a numbers kind of gal and like black and white. Too bad that the world of mental illness is all about shades of gray.

Porter-isms

2009-10-21T17:40:00.003-06:00

It is red ribbon week at school this week. Monday, Porter comes home from Kindergarten and excitedly tells me "mom, we're doing free drugs at school." I think he meant to say something about being drug free but it is so much more interesting the way he said it.

Other words Porter has coined for us are:
"Snackrament" for Sacrament
"Bathtism" for Baptism
and mom is dad's "life" for wife

So glad I married him!

2009-10-05T08:27:00.002-06:00

Do you ever look back on your life and have regrets? One thing that I never regret is having married Jason. He is wonderful. I've had the stomach flu over the weekend and he took care of me and the boys too. We think alike. I don't know if it's a "time being married" thing or just us but often I will pick up the phone to call him and it rings in my hand and he's there.

He's working so hard to keep our family solvent while Hyrum is getting the treatment he needs. I'm so proud of him. While he is teaching two classes at LDS business college at night, he prepares for taking additional sections of the CPA exam in November. He also teaches an adult education class at the local high school. He's doing so well at his full time IRS job too. He's been selected to write next year's continuing education materials for the IRS agents in the western region. (he wouldn't like me telling that so pretend that you don't know, he never reads the blog anyway) He runs full speed all week long and then on the week-ends runs right into the train wreck that is our home life. His regret is that he can't spend more time with us and he vows that he will never again teach so many classes in one semester. He's a good man who still finds time to study the scriptures and pray. I married someone up to the challenge of life and I'm ever grateful that I did.

Update on Hyrum's Treatment

2009-09-15T18:48:00.002-06:00

Prozac seemed to be working and even cautiously upping the dose, he was doing so well that we were getting close to setting a date for release. Then we started noticing that he was having unpredictable moods and extreme hyperactivity. Something as simple as "pass the salt" could mean an explosion from him or a tearful accusation. Dr. Burris offered us the option of adding a mood stable-izer on top of the Prozac but we've done that before and it hasn't helped. So it seems that if we treat the anxiety, his moods de-stabelize. And if we don't treat the anxiety, he has no quality of life. What to do? For now, we are lowering the dose of Prozac with the goal of removing it altogether and trying another medication instead. That means more time at the State Hospital.

We go through times when I'm doing better and times when I don't think that I can take it anymore. Maybe because my hopes were up, I'm having trouble lately. I wonder what his day was like. What did he have for dinner? Did he play outside? Who is his favorite friend to play with? Did one of the techs read him a story and tuck him in tonight? Will he hate us forever because of our putting him there? Did we do the right thing? Questions Questions

Cabin Trip

2009-09-08T23:19:00.008-06:00

The weather was beautiful for our retreat to the mountains this week-end. It's funny how we stay busy without the TV and telephone. Here some of what we did.

Provo River Falls

Hiked around Mirror lake and saw a Bald Eagle up close! (Porter's idea of heaven, the bird not the hike)
Built Jason's beehive boxes
Made dart guns out of PVC pipe and old magazines

Rode in the back of a pickup truck
Talked to the ranger
Went to Walmart in Evanston, WY

Wendy and the boys paddled a canoe around. See the dog in the middle? Porter and I did an animal rescue (just like Diego). As we went along, our dog, Denali, bounded along on the bank. Just after the beaver house we heard a "yip" and she was gone. After calling and getting no response, we paddled to the side and disembarked to save her from one of tunnel holes that the beaver had dug and then had collapsed. We loaded a wet dog on to the canoe and she got to ride in style back to the cabin.

General craziness and hijinks

We are so lucky and blessed to have a cabin to go to but more importantly to have this precious time together!

Porter's First Day of School

2009-08-24T14:07:00.001-06:00

Porter is in Kindergarten! He picked out a satchel book bag "just like Indiana Jones" he informs me. Oak Hills is hiring another teacher so Porter will have whoever that is. The beauty of a new teacher is that there is only slated to be 14 kids in his class. I love it.

We had orientation today and there is pre-testing all week so next week will start the first real days in school.

Hey! Be nice to yourself!

2009-08-20T13:09:00.002-06:00

Friday afternoon I got some results from a blood test showing that I am "early stage diabetic." I was devastated. I know that it means some big changes in the way that I live and I didn't feel ready to cope with it.

The rest of Friday and Saturday I had a headache. It didn't respond to medication or sleep or anything. I knew it was somehow related to the diabetic news. At 5am on Sunday, still suffering from the headache I figured out what it was. I completely blame myself for becoming diabetic.

I should have exercised more, and watched what I ate better. Diabetes is prevalent in my family and I can't recall how many times my mom told me to be careful and not get overweight or I will become diabetic. In her family, diabetes can mean death. How could I completely ignore her warnings and become diabetic at age 35? It's like the beginning of the end.

Not forgiving myself was what was wrong!

It's better now. I realize that the Savior's atonement can apply even to forgiving ourselves. I couldn't do it by myself. We all make mistakes and beating ourselves up about it isn't part of the plan. So.........be nice to yourself. There is only one you and you are important to me. (and probably a whole lot of other people too) Wendy

4th of July

2009-08-17T00:45:00.005-06:00

Becca, Misty, and Kim at the BBQ

Hryum and Jason listening to the choir sing at the ward breakfast.
Don't look so excited Hyrum!

Mike F. & Jason and Hryum

The kids getting ready for the ward "parade"

Any of you who know Mike Mayfield, our neighbor, know that he is a born story-teller. Before our annual "street of fire" BBQ he told the kids his version of the reason we celebrate Independence Day. Here is a bit of what he told the kids before we ate..........

"All right kids ... the 4th of July is a pretty big deal. Why? Because back in 1776, England started pushing us around. They made us pay taxes, they made us wear funny wigs, they made us drink crazy tea, and finally America said, 'Dudes! We're not going to do this anymore.' So on the 4th of July in 1776, we wrote 'em a pretty nasty little letter. It was called the Declaration of Independence. It said, 'Dear England, thanks for Harry Potter in the future but we don't want your stinkin' taxes, your funny wigs or your bad tea. We don't even want to be part of your country any more. So take that. Kiss off. Love, America.' And then they signed it. Some of our founding fathers weren't as brave as the others. They signed it pretty small. But John Hancock signed it in big ol' letters so King George wouldn't have to use his glasses to read his name.

"When King George got the letter, he was so mad that he sent the largest army in the world to come fight our guys. Their army had big guns and matching red coats. Our guys had little guns and no shoes, but they loved America and they were ready to take on that big army so we could be free. Fortunately, we were smarter than the British so we got 'em surrounded and then we said, 'Take your red coats and bad teeth back to England and don't come back until 1812.' And that is how America started kicking butt. "

Thanks to Misty for preserving a bit of Mike wisdom for posterity. I bet the kids will remember better than learing this stuff in a dry old text book. Next holiday I'll send the kids over for more history lessons. What do you think he might tell them for Halloween?

Porter is Five!

2009-08-12T17:23:00.002-06:00

August 10th, 2009. Porter had his first friend birthday party. It was an animal theme of course. He’s been playing Leapster and checking out tons of books from the library on animals. He is a self proclaimed “animal genius.”

I remember 5 years ago traveling to Spokane, WA to pick him up at Deaconess hospital and how HOT it was there. (in the 100’s every day) It was so beautiful with all the pine trees and lakes and streams.

When Melanie put Porter in my arms and Jason left to go get Hyrum I had a minute with this precious little one. Porter smiled at me. I know you’ll say that newborns can’t smile at that age but I swear he did! He was born knowing how to smile and that is a hallmark of his life so far. He’s a laid back, happy kid who likes to tease and have fun. He is such a blessing in our lives. I know we couldn’t do without him. We love you Porter.

Family Reunion at Bear Lake

2009-08-12T16:48:00.002-06:00

Papa Buddy rented this really cool lodge (www.laketownlodge.com) for the week-end and all the Arbuckle siblings and their kids came for a get together. Wendy’s cousin, Gina Baker and her husband, Shane also came and took family photos and had a blast.

Porter and Ashlynn playing in the sand and water

Hyrum

Lindsay and Jason and Noah came all the way from Conneticut

I think Porter and Hyrum really loved the theatre room downstairs. I loved when the kids went to bed and I had people to play games with and just talk and hang out.

Porter's Best Friends

2009-08-12T16:39:00.003-06:00

Without Hyrum home this summer, Porter has really come out of his shell and made some friends. Some of his best friends are: Liam, Will, and Cameron. They are so much fun and can’t wait to start Kindergarten this fall.

Liam and Porter
Cam and Porter

Will

Porter's Summer at the Tracy Aviary

2009-08-12T15:40:00.011-06:00

We become member of the Tracy Aviary every year because it only costs $40 for a whole family for an entire year. Not only do you get to go to the Aviary but you get into the Zoo once a month free and Dinosaur Park in Odgen is free weekdays also there are discounts at many other places. It simply pays to get it. Porter loves birds so the aviary is HEAVEN for him. He has told me repeatedly this summer that he would like to live there. We take turns taking a friend with him or just mom and Porter go.

Quick trip to St. George

2009-06-11T09:14:00.008-06:00

Hyrum asked if God lives up there. I'm glad he noticed God's hand in nature.

Playing at the library splash pad park.

Datan Reid is growing up. He starts Kindergarten at the same time as Porter this fall. Crazy!

Moriella and Jason. This is a special little girl. Jason usually says that we don't need any more kids but after being around this little one, he says we need a little girl. Thank you little princess!

Can we say cold?

Jason and Chris Reid put in sprinklers in the Reids back yard in one day! When the kids got restless, Simcah and I took them to the park. It was positively balmy for Bountiful, in the 80's but cold for St. George this time of year.

We had a ton of fun, unfortunately Hyrum got violent on the way back to the unit so he won't be coming home this next week-end for Jason's birthday. We'll just bring the party to him on Saturday. I'm so proud of him and all the progress he is making.

Bedtimes are hard for Hyrum. Jason was trying to get him to calm down enough to get to sleep. Hyrum was asking about his favorite topic, "Will I get to come home next weekend?" and "When will I be release to come home for good?" When Jason suggested a prayer to ask God to help him be good so that he can come home on his next home visit and to help him get released soon he said, "What do you think I've been praying for every night since I got to the unit!?! God does nothing, he just sits up there and watches."

My heart aches for him. Unfortunately, he was in no mood to discuss things right then. We all develop faith by small steps and by having our prayers answered. God's not answering our prayers right away and in the exact way that we want is such an adult question to have to deal with for a 7 year old.

Please God, help and bless my little one.

Bugs, frogs and family

2009-06-11T09:05:00.002-06:00

For those who would like a cheap and fun activity, the Utah Museum of Natural History is free on the first Monday of the month. It's located up at the U. They have a really cool bug exhibit as well as the minerals and dinosaurs that have been there forever. They also have a frog exhibit for the summer with live frogs. Porter, being really into critters, really enjoyed this family home evening activity!

Memorial Day weekend at the Cabin

2009-06-11T08:20:00.006-06:00

Jason passing on his Pyro skills.
Intrepid explorers

My Porter

We opened cabin 26 for the season. We love the Uintas, we could live here if it wasn't for the little problem of making a living.

Mother's Day Week-end

2009-05-11T13:52:00.003-06:00

Hyrum did so well this week-end. We've had some bad times recently where when we leave the unit we have to have 3-4 staff members hold him back while he is hysterically crying. We haven't been able to have him home for awhile since his behavior has been dangerous. This week-end however, the whole family visited on Saturday and then again on Sunday and he was happy and calm.

We love the grounds at the hospital. It's gorgeous and every Saturday you will see couples and photographers taking picutres there for wedding announcements etc. This is one of the ponds. I'll have to get the camera fixed soon so that you can see the catch and release fish pond. Our kids are getting spoiled for fishing anywhere else. They get a fish on just about every cast!

Where did they go????

2009-05-08T22:57:00.004-06:00

Okay so it's been awhile since I've updated the blog. I have some good excuses if you would like to hear them.

Wendy's top 10 reasons why she didn't update the blog
10. Hyrum got Hennoch-Scholine Pepura and we had to spend a bunch of time in hospitals
9. We dropped the digital camera and now it turns on but won't open. (I like Julie's suggestion that we just drop it again and see if the problem clears up... very scientific!)
8. I directed the Tolman Elementary school musical performed at Viewmont High School.
7. We've been in therapy trying to hone our keen parenting skills.
6. Jason took and passed the regulatory section of the CPA exam.
5. We've planted a garden
4. We've waged battle on the overgrown yard. We've installed sprinklers and cut down on the amount of flower beds in the yard by planting more grass.
3. Jason used his handyman skills on a broken water heater, a broken bed, the swamp cooler and his dad's sprinkers.
2. I've been waiting for some good news to post about Hyrum. I'm still waiting.
1. I'm just lazy!

We love you all even though we're not the greatest in keeping in touch. Keep the faith!
-Wendy

Tolman's school musical

2009-04-16T19:03:00.009-06:00

Wendy directed "The Amazing Human Race" at Tolman Elementary. It was performed April 4th at Viewmont High's auditorium. Kids are the best!

Who Needs WII Fit?

2009-01-13T09:39:00.004-07:00

Our first visit

2009-01-11T00:00:00.003-07:00

We got to see Hyrum today! We brought "Bendaroos" to build with but the best thing that we brought was his brother.

Porter had gotten a Star Wars action figure during the week and true to form we couldn't get just one. We had to get one for his brother too. It didn't take long and Hyrum and Porter were playing just like they do at home.

Hyrum is a lot calmer than we have seen him when he is in-patient. He was really trying to re-direct his thoughts from "When am I going home?" and "When are you coming again?" He didn't even have to be restrained when we left after a two hour visit. Next week we hope that he will be a level two so he will be able to participate in scouts, primary and swimming.

I just drank the sight of him in. No amount of phone calls or reports from the social worker beat seeing him in person. :)

Utah State Hospital

2009-01-09T13:13:00.004-07:00

Monday January 5th we admitted Hyrum to the Utah State Hospital. I left a piece of my heart there in Provo with my son.

The admitting process was really long with tons of in-depth questions such as; "How old was Hyrum when he walked, talked, etc?", "What medications has he been on at what dosages and dates?", "Why were they administered and why were they discontinued?" I left my house at 8:30am dropped off Porter at the Williamsen's and then picked up Jason after teaching his class at LDS Business College. We didn't get home until 5:00pm because of the long intake process and the snow made the drive home slow. We didn't eat all day and then with emotions etc, I felt sick by the time we arrived home.

It's hard for me not to know what is going on with him. When we talk to Hyrum at night, he just cries and says he wants to go home and then says I love you goodbye. We don't get any details. I know that he doesn't spend his whole day crying but it's hard to picture what he is doing. His social worker, Thomas Payne, gave us some idea of the children's schedule.

7am wake, shower, and breakfast

8:30 school

12:15 lunch
12:45 school

2:30 return to unit

3:00 break/ snack time

group therapy

5:00 dinner

recreation therapy, scouts, etc

8:00 bedtime

I have to keep reminding myself that sadness is temporary and that things will get better. I will feel like laughing and singing and dancing again someday. After all, I am not the first mother to put Hyrum in God's hands and trust Him that things will work out for the best. If his sweet birthmother could do it, I can too.

My life as a short order cook

2008-12-29T13:12:00.002-07:00

Yes, it is sort of flattering that Hyrum eats whatever I make but this is getting ridiculous. He is constantly hungry. He eats dinner with us and then when we visit grandma or aunt Rachel or aunt Jan's, he begs for food there. Just for lunch today so far he has eaten a whole BK chicken nugget kids meal and two peanut butter sandwiches!

His size 8 pants no longer fit and when we tried the size 10's I had waiting for him to grow into, the waist was too small and the legs were too long. This is the same trouble I ran into when he was a baby. I had to get pants big and then sew them shorter so that they would fit both his waist and leg length. I'm thinking that it's a side effect of one of the medications because the kid is definitely active!

Snow Snow Snow

2008-12-21T15:44:00.003-07:00

The winter break is offically here and Hyrum and Porter love the snow. They think sledding in the back yard is the greatest fun! Their enthusiasm is so fun to watch as they roll around in it and do snow angels etc. What a miracle the snow is.

Inspiring Thought

2008-12-16T08:21:00.004-07:00

Jason found this and put it on our computer as a background. I thought you all might enjoy our warped sense of humor too.

Up in the air again!

2008-12-12T18:40:00.003-07:00

Do ya ever get sick of being an adult? I just want to be a kid and not be required to make hard decisions every day.

The director of the Children's Unit at the hospital called us last night and said that the psychiatrist that will be working with Hyrum will be out of town on the 29th. So would we like to choose another date. To push it back may take me over the edge to where I need treatment too. We've been living in crisis mode for about two months now and desparately need some semblance of normalcy. So, today we told him that even if that person was out of town we would still like to do it on the 29th. Well, he nicely told me that that was not an option. So the first that we would be able to get Hyrum in down there would be January 5th.

Jason starts his new additional job teaching at LDS business college that day. Talk about stress! I guess that we just take it one day at a time. Lord give us strength! Thank goodness for great friends and family.

State Hospital on the 29th of December

2008-12-10T21:23:00.002-07:00

We've been on an emotional roller-coaster trying to do what's best for our little Hyrum. We visited Wasatch Canyons and felt confused and reluctant to send him there. When we finally made the decision not to send Hyrum there, we felt like a burden was lifted. So that left two options;

to take him back home and just do the best we can until next time we have to admit him to UNI or
to send him to the State Hospital for longer term treatment.

Our preference would be to have Hyrum at home but we decided to pray about it. In the midst of this decision a further factor was added to the equation. We found out that Hyrum has been hearing a voice. The voice is a little girl and she doesn't tell him to hurt anyone she just tells him he is stupid etc. According to Dr. Susan Wiet at Kidstar there are a couple of reasons Hyrum could be hearing a voice (which evidently has been going on for quite awhile at least a couple of months.)

Untreated severe anxiety (I take exception to the untreated part, what exactly have we been doing for the last 3 years!)
Untreated severe mood disorder (ditto on the untreated part)
the onset of Schizophrenia
the side effect of one of the drugs he is taking

We decided to visit the Utah State Hospital in Provo to see what it was like. It's located on a beautiful campus with lots of grass at the base of the mountains at the top of center street. Evidently Utah is one of the few states that has a separate unit just for children.

We entered the children's building and saw hundreds of stuffed Santas of every description lining both sides of the halls and main office. Someone collects Santas and decorates the Children's unit every year for Christmas. It was enchanting.

We toured through the bedrooms (like a dorm) and the bathrooms and social room. There is a separate building for school and a playground right outside. They believe in recreation therapy and the kids get to fish is the fishing pond on campus, learn to ride and care for horses in Park City, and learn to ski. The kids are also encouraged to visit home regularly and practice what they learn in group and individual therapy.

Hyrum's treatment team at Kidstar highly recommended the State Hospital as a good fit for Hyrum. They would like to see them remove all drugs from his system and see what his mental illness looks like without any meds. Then they could re-build the meds from the symptoms that they see. There is no where else that you could do that but up there are the state hospital because of the time required and the medical attention necessary.

We felt so good after having visited. Even though we would like Hyrum home with all our hearts, he is not getting better at home and we would like to give him a chance while he is young to do the best he can with the cards that he's been dealt.

So the paperwork took a little while and then we didn't want him to miss Christmas with the family so today we learned the date that he will be admitted is Monday, December 29th.

Hyrum doesn't know yet. He tends to obsess about things like this. It's going to be hard to explain why he needs to go there. It's not that he's a bad kid or something we just want him to get better. Now that we have a date, we can decide when it's best to tell him.

Holiday Songs for the Disturbed

2008-11-24T10:29:00.004-07:00

1. Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia -- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and....

6. Paranoid -- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality -- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder -- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy, can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells....

Hyrum home for now

2008-11-19T07:29:00.002-07:00

In spite of a few setbacks, Hyrum was transferred to UNI's day treatment program, Kidstar. That means we get him home nights and weekends for awhile until an opening becomes available up at Wasatch Canyons (Primary Children's residential progam)

So far, so good. We really enjoy working with the treatment team at Kidstar and it's nice to be back where friends know his whole history. Just to make sure that we've covered this from every angle, Dr Susan Wiet has recommended that we get an MRI done on Hyrum. That is scheduled for Wednesday, November 26th.

The primary kids in the Barton Creek ward made a giant "feel better soon" poster for Hyrum. We've hung it in his room. It was really fun for us to go through and see the pictures and notes from the kids.

Hyrum's LOA

2008-11-15T18:00:00.004-07:00

Instead of realeasing Hyrum to us over the week-end the treatment team decided to do a trial for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday to see how it went. They called it a Leave of Absence (LOA)

We took Hyrum to Liberty park and the Tracy Aviary this afternoon. Things went pretty well until we gave him the 10 minute warning that it was soon time to head back up to UNI. That wasn't the part that upset him though, it was when he discovered that we weren't going to turn right around in an hour and visit him at dinner time like we usually do. Then he started crying and hitting his dad. JJ had to carry him back to the car.

As much as he would like to come home for a visit tomorrow, he said he would rather have us just come and visit at dinner. He is so rigid that any little deviation from what he expects really causes trauma.

It's really good to know how he will behave when thrown a small curve ball. I was still unsure about residential treatment for him. This really showed me that although his anxiety is much better, he will be unable to live a normal life because life doesn't always go exactly the way we plan in our heads.

Hyrum Home?

2008-11-14T06:55:00.003-07:00

We've heard rumors that Hyrum may be coming home on a trial basis over the week-end.

Our visit with him last night went really well. He is so much more calm and happy than when we first took him there. They are still working on his meds, but think that they have at least one of them right on.

We're just going to make it a quiet family week-end. I don't think that we will try church yet. I don't want to push it but I'm really excited to have him home again for however long we get him.

Jason's Toy Truck

2008-11-06T12:42:00.004-07:00

Brother Muray in our ward gave Jason this truck. Formerly a Thiakol vehicle, it's just what Jason needs for all of his projects that he likes to do ie. hauling wood, helping people move, camping, trips to the dump etc. We need to get it to the mechanic and get some new tires before driving it but he just can't wait for summer so that he and the boys can take off to the mountains!

That's my Grammie!

2008-11-04T09:29:00.003-07:00

Hey, take a look at this bike. Want one? Me too! It's a Bob Ashdown original. What a way to travel!

Hyrum at UNI

2008-11-03T23:34:00.002-07:00

Well, we knew it was coming but it doesn't make it easy. After a very physical battle to try to get Hyrum on the bus this morning, we made the decision to admit him again to the University Neuropsych Institute. His anxiety has become so severe that it's debilitating. He really wouldn't leave the house without a big fight.

Hyrum and I had a talk after getting calmed down after the bus fight and he chose to go to UNI. I told him that he must feel pretty bad inside to chose to be admitted again. He agreed.

I am okay with this as long as I keep thinking about what's best for him. If I start to focus on my own feelings, I break down. I can't really write more about it now because the pain is still too raw. I miss my baby.

-Wendy

Can you find me?

2008-10-31T13:30:00.002-06:00

I've always thought that Porter had amazing eyes. He's playing in our backyard with Hyrum and you know that he's got his little mischievous grin with dimples hidden behind the leaves.

What's most important?

2008-10-30T10:42:00.003-06:00

Hyrum has been struggling lately. That means that his temper and moods are really unpredictable. He was so violent and out of control that we actually called UNI to find out if they had room for him on Tuesday night. The battle with him went on for hours and resulted in my home looking like a war zone.

We have been warned by the professionals that we are to expect relapses and be prepared for him to be admitted to the hospital again. This time they feel that, if admitted, he would benefit from a long-term facility.(The state mental hospital in Provo) There are a limited number of beds at the state hospital so he would be treated at UNI until there is room for him down there.

I know that I cannot admit my 6-year-old son to the state hospital without God's help. It tore me apart to have him at UNI and when there, I could see him every day. God knows what is best for Hyrum and this family and I wish it was just to heal him from this sickness. Nevertheless, He sees the whole picture and knows what must be for the good of all involved.

Here's a question that I've been thinking a lot about lately: "If you only had a little time left with your child, what would you want him to know?" I came up with a list of six things. I made a little book for Hyrum of some picures and sayings and I hope that they will get into his mind and heart from his mom even if nothing else does.

1. I know God lives.

2. I know He loves me and He loves you!

3. I know He hears me and He answers when I pray.

4. I know His Son, Jesus Christ, is my redeemer.

5. Jesus Christ suffered for our sins so that we may live with God again someday.

6. Jesus Christ died and was resurrected so that we too could live again.

I tried to keep it short. It's funny how as a parent you so want to cram everything you know into your kids so we wax eloquent and lose the kid in our loquaciousness. :)

Anyone else think of something that you would add to the list? Jason thought that we should put in there something about the evidence of Hebrew speaking structure in the book of Enos but that's just him!!!

Who's bed is this???

2008-10-27T13:48:00.002-06:00

Both boys had a nightmare the same night. In the morning, I took this picture. It was even better when the white, fluffy dog was on there too. Is there any room for mom and dad?

Good to be here

2008-10-22T18:15:00.002-06:00

I got a call from Hyrum's teacher about 12:30pm today. He fell off the slide at recess and landed face first in the wood chips. He's fine but was upset and has scratchs on the right side of his face. I checked him out when I took Porter to preschool and let him come home and get a nap. I think the scare was worse than the actual fall.

Often I think that it would be good to get a job, even a part time one, to help with the finances. On days like today, I'm really glad to be here when I am needed!

Boys' campout

2008-10-22T10:55:00.006-06:00

We've had a fun summer. JJ took the boys camping up Farmington canyon one night so that mom could have a break. Camping is something that all of us can enjoy as that it doesn't involve crowds (Hyrum) and it's outdoors (JJ and Wendy)

2008-10-21T03:48:00.000-06:00

We here at the Steenblik's don't believe in consistent sleep. It's now 3:30am and at least I can work on figuring out how to blog while I'm up with a wide awake Hyrum.

Hyrum has struggled since birth with sleeping. In our appointment with his psychiatrist on Friday, she talked about how he may be experiencing cycling moods (like manic/depressives do) which will make him not sleep at all for manic periods and then sleep too much on the down side. Frankly, I welcome the times that he sleeps too much. But you gotta just remember when I'm writing this.

For those of you who don't know, Hyrum has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. There are so many different types. The ones that he has specifically been diagnosed with are: Generalized anxiety, Social Phobia, Separation anxiety & Obsessive/Compulsive disorder. They also think that he may be bi-polar but that is really hard to diagnose at age 6. Right now we are targeting the anxiety with the drugs so that he can function. My goal is that we can get on the school bus in the morning without all the ritual crying, begging, pleading, feeling sick and general drama.

Well gotta go, I'm going to try snuggling him back to sleep now that he's had some food and a little awake time. Later all, or earlier, depending on your point of view.

2008-10-18T21:27:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! You've reached the Steenblik family blog. We are so pleased to have you here to enjoy our everyday antics with us.