Hyrum has been struggling lately. That means that his temper and moods are really unpredictable. He was so violent and out of control that we actually called UNI to find out if they had room for him on Tuesday night. The battle with him went on for hours and resulted in my home looking like a war zone.
We have been warned by the professionals that we are to expect relapses and be prepared for him to be admitted to the hospital again. This time they feel that, if admitted, he would benefit from a long-term facility.(The state mental hospital in Provo) There are a limited number of beds at the state hospital so he would be treated at UNI until there is room for him down there.
I know that I cannot admit my 6-year-old son to the state hospital without God's help. It tore me apart to have him at UNI and when there, I could see him every day. God knows what is best for Hyrum and this family and I wish it was just to heal him from this sickness. Nevertheless, He sees the whole picture and knows what must be for the good of all involved.
Here's a question that I've been thinking a lot about lately: "If you only had a little time left with your child, what would you want him to know?" I came up with a list of six things. I made a little book for Hyrum of some picures and sayings and I hope that they will get into his mind and heart from his mom even if nothing else does.
1. I know God lives.
2. I know He loves me and He loves you!
3. I know He hears me and He answers when I pray.
4. I know His Son, Jesus Christ, is my redeemer.
5. Jesus Christ suffered for our sins so that we may live with God again someday.
6. Jesus Christ died and was resurrected so that we too could live again.
I tried to keep it short. It's funny how as a parent you so want to cram everything you know into your kids so we wax eloquent and lose the kid in our loquaciousness. :)
Anyone else think of something that you would add to the list? Jason thought that we should put in there something about the evidence of Hebrew speaking structure in the book of Enos but that's just him!!!
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4 comments:
I'm so glad you decided to blog. I am amazed at all you have done with Hyrum. It would be so difficult to have to see him suffer from his mental illness. This post made me cry, you have nailed it exactly on what every parent wants their child to know, even if they have longer than a short time. That is a great idea. I have a really great poem posted on my blog, To My Child, if you want to read it!
Stef
Oh, and the comment about the Hebrew in Enos, SO JASON! Lol
That has got to be so hard to deal with all of these issues that are affecting your family and little Hyrum. Keep trusting in the Lord...that is sometimes all you can do.
I admire your strength. Reading your blog and hearing what you are going through would be heart breaking as a parent to watch your child struggle so bad within himself.
One thing I would want my child to know is
#1 That mommy and daddy love you so much
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