Utah State Hospital

Monday January 5th we admitted Hyrum to the Utah State Hospital. I left a piece of my heart there in Provo with my son.

The admitting process was really long with tons of in-depth questions such as; "How old was Hyrum when he walked, talked, etc?", "What medications has he been on at what dosages and dates?", "Why were they administered and why were they discontinued?" I left my house at 8:30am dropped off Porter at the Williamsen's and then picked up Jason after teaching his class at LDS Business College. We didn't get home until 5:00pm because of the long intake process and the snow made the drive home slow. We didn't eat all day and then with emotions etc, I felt sick by the time we arrived home.

It's hard for me not to know what is going on with him. When we talk to Hyrum at night, he just cries and says he wants to go home and then says I love you goodbye. We don't get any details. I know that he doesn't spend his whole day crying but it's hard to picture what he is doing. His social worker, Thomas Payne, gave us some idea of the children's schedule.

7am wake, shower, and breakfast

8:30 school

12:15 lunch
12:45 school

2:30 return to unit

3:00 break/ snack time

group therapy

5:00 dinner

recreation therapy, scouts, etc

8:00 bedtime

I have to keep reminding myself that sadness is temporary and that things will get better. I will feel like laughing and singing and dancing again someday. After all, I am not the first mother to put Hyrum in God's hands and trust Him that things will work out for the best. If his sweet birthmother could do it, I can too.